My dearest Sarah
Today has been another one of those days. I guess I am depressed again. I have taken so much medicine but nothing seems to be working for me. Its so hard to find anything to do. I hate work. I don't really like doing much of anything. I help your brother everyday do his school work. Its so hard. He is so needy. I have no time to do anything. This just makes me so very sad too. I just can't make it any better. I have cried about it. Its just not right that I can't make it any better. I feel like I have let him down. I feel like a failure. I couldn't make you better either. I so wanted to. Please know that I didn't give up on you getting better. There in the end it just became so very hard to watch you suffer so. You didn't complain but I could see it. You would have had to be stupid to not see it. I am so very glad that you found Jesus and that he set you free. So are the colors in Heaven wonderful? Have you done a lot of walking? I bet you have. What about swimming? I so wish I could see you having a good time. I miss you so much. It hurts so very bad. No one seems to understand. Please pray for me Sarah.
I love you to the moon and back!
You will always be my very best friend,
Mommy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZWjQUerta8
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